Living in Process Testimonial
When I turned 30 years old in 1991, my friends threw a party for me in the theme of the 1960's. We ate 60's-type food, dressed in 60's-type clothing and danced to 60's-type music. I looked around and saw that I finally had the "right" friends, the "right" clothes, the "right" hairstyle and the "right" makeup. And I felt so miserable inside. I also felt I couldn't tell any of my friends what was really going on for me.
A month or so prior to my birthday I started having memories of being sexually abused as a child, and I was trying to push the memories down with all of my addictions: alcohol, food, relationships, busy-ness, etc... I was walking around shaking, and my body seemed to be saying, "You can't keep doing this to yourself."
For months afterward, I was extremely depressed and suicidal. I was talking to a woman I had met in a 12-step group about how depressed I was and that I was considering getting on anti-depressants. She said she saw a vision of me surrounded by loving, supportive people, and this was what she believed would be the cure for my depression. When she said this, I couldn't fathom what that would be like to have such people in my life; it was so far from my reality.
I did choose to start taking anti-depressants. I got off them for a while, and then was considering getting back on them. This is when I decided to try a Living in Process group in my area as an alternative to taking the anti-depressants, and I'm extremely grateful that I did.
My feelings were right at the surface waiting for me to find a safe, supportive environment where I could express them and walk through them without medicating myself. The place where they had the LIP group had a room with mattresses, pillows and blankets where people went to stay with their feelings. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! I dove in and did what we call "deep process" work. I let myself cry, scream, whatever my body and soul felt it needed to do to heal. Others in the group made sure I was safe and didn't harm myself. What a relief!
Anger, fear, doubt, grief and other emotions which I had kept bottled up inside for years of my life began to surface and be released.
Through doing my deep work, joining the LIP Training, and working the 12-steps with a sponsor, my life began to change. I started getting to know myself and to have more compassion for myself and others. The depression I had experienced throughout my life began lifting.
This work (LIP) is definitely not a "quick fix" or a "quick cure." And it is a lasting one. It is truly a deep, spiritual way of life, not a technique or a band-aid approach. I am thankful I can feel my feelings whatever they are - joy, sadness, anger, gratitude - and move through them. For me, going to the mats (doing my deep process work) is like praying. It reminds me of my humanness and my connection to a Higher Power (God, Creator, Universe, Spirit), and to all that is.
Now I do have many loving, supportive people in my life. The vision that that one woman had for me has become a reality. Thanks to the LIP global community, I have people I love and care about all around the world. My life is full, abundant, and joy-filled, and I am at peace with myself and the world. The overwhelming fear I experienced and was driven by is gone, and I have belief and trust in a loving, creative, awesome Higher Power. The time and energy
I had formerly spent pursuing my addictions I can now put towards pursuing my visions and dreams.
I am deeply grateful to Anne Wilson Schaef for discovering and developing Living in Process. She is an incredibly wise, funny, delightful, loving and compassionate teacher and friend, and I am inspired by the work she does for the Creator and all of humankind. I also have profound appreciation for my brothers and sisters in the Living in Process Community who are daring to work towards achieving peace on personal, community and worldwide levels.
Emily
A month or so prior to my birthday I started having memories of being sexually abused as a child, and I was trying to push the memories down with all of my addictions: alcohol, food, relationships, busy-ness, etc... I was walking around shaking, and my body seemed to be saying, "You can't keep doing this to yourself."
For months afterward, I was extremely depressed and suicidal. I was talking to a woman I had met in a 12-step group about how depressed I was and that I was considering getting on anti-depressants. She said she saw a vision of me surrounded by loving, supportive people, and this was what she believed would be the cure for my depression. When she said this, I couldn't fathom what that would be like to have such people in my life; it was so far from my reality.
I did choose to start taking anti-depressants. I got off them for a while, and then was considering getting back on them. This is when I decided to try a Living in Process group in my area as an alternative to taking the anti-depressants, and I'm extremely grateful that I did.
My feelings were right at the surface waiting for me to find a safe, supportive environment where I could express them and walk through them without medicating myself. The place where they had the LIP group had a room with mattresses, pillows and blankets where people went to stay with their feelings. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! I dove in and did what we call "deep process" work. I let myself cry, scream, whatever my body and soul felt it needed to do to heal. Others in the group made sure I was safe and didn't harm myself. What a relief!
Anger, fear, doubt, grief and other emotions which I had kept bottled up inside for years of my life began to surface and be released.
Through doing my deep work, joining the LIP Training, and working the 12-steps with a sponsor, my life began to change. I started getting to know myself and to have more compassion for myself and others. The depression I had experienced throughout my life began lifting.
This work (LIP) is definitely not a "quick fix" or a "quick cure." And it is a lasting one. It is truly a deep, spiritual way of life, not a technique or a band-aid approach. I am thankful I can feel my feelings whatever they are - joy, sadness, anger, gratitude - and move through them. For me, going to the mats (doing my deep process work) is like praying. It reminds me of my humanness and my connection to a Higher Power (God, Creator, Universe, Spirit), and to all that is.
Now I do have many loving, supportive people in my life. The vision that that one woman had for me has become a reality. Thanks to the LIP global community, I have people I love and care about all around the world. My life is full, abundant, and joy-filled, and I am at peace with myself and the world. The overwhelming fear I experienced and was driven by is gone, and I have belief and trust in a loving, creative, awesome Higher Power. The time and energy
I had formerly spent pursuing my addictions I can now put towards pursuing my visions and dreams.
I am deeply grateful to Anne Wilson Schaef for discovering and developing Living in Process. She is an incredibly wise, funny, delightful, loving and compassionate teacher and friend, and I am inspired by the work she does for the Creator and all of humankind. I also have profound appreciation for my brothers and sisters in the Living in Process Community who are daring to work towards achieving peace on personal, community and worldwide levels.
Emily
posted by emily at 2:12 PM
